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Commission of the President

Keywords

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Your commission of office is below. We had it drawn up the day you took the post.

<div class="eos-commission-kicker">Earth Optimization Services</div>
<div class="eos-commission-title">Commission of the President</div>
<div class="eos-commission-greeting">To all who shall see these presents, greeting:</div>
<div class="eos-commission-body">
  Know ye, that reposing special trust and confidence in the
  patriotism, judgment, and abilities of
  <div class="eos-commission-name">_______________________________</div>
  I do hereby appoint them
</div>
<div class="eos-commission-rank">President and Chief Executive Officer<br>Earth Optimization Services</div>
<div class="eos-commission-body">
  and do authorize and empower them to execute and fulfill the duties
  of that office, which include the direction, optimization, and
  general welfare of the planet Earth and all persons thereon.
</div>
<div class="eos-commission-term">
  This commission shall remain in force for the natural life of the
  bearer, a term the Company regards as a defect scheduled for repair.
</div>
<div class="eos-commission-done">
  Done at the offices of Earth Optimization Services, which are Earth,<br>
  this ______ day of ________________, in the year ________.
</div>
<div class="eos-commission-sig">
  <div class="eos-commission-sigline">___________________________</div>
  <div class="eos-commission-signame">Mike P. Sinn</div>
  <div class="eos-commission-sigtitle">Assistant to the President</div>
</div>

Yours to print, date by hand, and frame. No President of the United States has ever had one of these: there is no office above theirs to issue it. There is one above yours.