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The Investment Thesis (Unfiltered)

Keywords

war-on-disease, 1-percent-treaty, medical-research, public-health, peace-dividend, decentralized-trials, dfda, dih, victory-bonds, health-economics, cost-benefit-analysis, clinical-trials, drug-development, regulatory-reform, military-spending, peace-economics, decentralized-governance, wishocracy, blockchain-governance, impact-investing

There’s a non-zero possibility that hell exists and you and everyone you love is going to die and burn in it for eternity. As it is very hot in hell, this would be unfortunate. And there’s this thing called expected value whereby if you multiply the chance of something happening by the value of it happening, you get the expected value. So let’s say there’s like a plot of dirt and you know there’s like a 10% chance that there’s $100,000 worth of gold underneath it. The value of that land would be 10% times $100,000 potential value equals $10,000 expected value. So the expected value of hell is like infinity bad because you have to keep being really hot for a really long time. Forever. So if you multiply infinity by any percent likelihood, even 0.0000001%, it is still infinity. So it would be preferable to avoid this if possible.

Additionally, when I was a kid my great-grandfather had Alzheimer’s disease or something and he looked like he was in hell. All the time. He was miserable and he was like this for very many years. And so there’s this thing called time dilation whereby when you’re dreaming a few minutes can seem like a few hours. There’s like a drug called salvia divinorum where some people have taken it and they said they felt like they were being crushed to death for millennia. Okay, so there’s no way to disprove the possibility that your brain’s going to get messed up in a manner that causes you great pain and confusion for perceptually an indefinite amount of time. Very very very very long time, maybe eternity. So this is like kind of a possibility of a hell on Earth. So even if it is highly unlikely that this occurs, like even if there’s 0.00001% chance of this occurring, the expected value of this is infinity terrible.

Okay, there’s this thing called biotechnology. So I don’t know if you’ve ever taken any drugs. I certainly haven’t. But I hear tell that they can make you feel very good. Okay, so this tells me that humans through the ability of manipulating atoms and molecules in their brains can make themselves feel very good. Additionally, due to the phenomenon of time dilation, it is apparently possible through some sort of mysterious biochemical action, time can be extended. Perception of time can be extended. And additionally there are numerous animals or living things that are immortal, like jellyfish. This tells me with sufficient resources and effort and scientists, one could figure out how to produce a very nice, pleasant experience for an indefinitely long period of time. Okay so these are your options. So like the expected value of doing this, given that it can go on for an unlimited period of time, is infinitely good. Even if there is an extremely low probability that anything I’m saying is true and we can achieve this. Even if there’s 0.00001% chance that this is possible, the expected value is infinite goodness.

Okay so there’s these other things on Earth called humans and like they’re all kind of stupid. Like there is this thing called information and logic. And so if you have perfect information and perfect logic, that is what I would consider to be called smart. So if you enjoy these two things, my hat’s off to you and I would definitely like to meet you. But my theory is no such human exists. This means that all humans suffer from some degree of relative mental retardation relative to smartness. So if you hold your hand up by the top of your head, let’s say that’s smartness. Then humans… so like snails might be down around your shoes or something. And then monkeys might be somewhere around the middle of your shin. And then humans might be a little bit above that. And then maybe dolphins are a little bit above the humans. Okay, so humans are like varying degrees of retarded.

So apparently someone decided it’s necessary to murder them on occasion. Like we made this thing called governments that are supposed to promote the general welfare, which is I guess median health and wealth. Or more specifically if you want to measure it, median health-adjusted life expectancy and median after-tax inflation-adjusted income. So theoretically, if you were running one of these governments, you would measure these things. Then you would try to make policies and allocate resources to different activities and then see which ones maximized these two measurable outcomes which you are trying to improve. For some reason governments do not do this. We have like 193 countries and hundreds of years of data about different public policies and budget allocations and so we can analyze this and determine which policies maximize the health and wealth of the population and then we could like just do those policies.

I have done this and like relative to the optimal policies that could be implemented, Earth currently wastes about $101 trillion a year on idiotic policies. So this compounds. And so these governments that we pay about $36 trillion a year to provide this service of promoting general welfare for us, since 1900 they have spent $170 trillion of this murdering 310 million of their employers, which I feel would be grounds for termination probably under any employment contract any human has ever signed on Earth. But for some reason we just keep giving them an extra $36 trillion every year. So they suck at it.

So the question is why do they suck so much? So the reason they suck at it is because the humans are retarded that are running it. the humans that are good at getting in charge of deciding what policies and budgets to have are not necessarily good at deciding policies and budgets, but they are smart, or relatively less retarded, at taking the actions required to get themselves into the boardrooms or buildings where these decisions are made. There’s a common misconception that there is such thing as smartness and that the people who are making these decisions are smart. But history books are a catalog of humans being retarded for a very long time and then occasionally becoming slightly less retarded.

So one example is the case of the Ethyl Gasoline Corporation. So in 1924 they had cars. They put gasoline in the engines. Made them go. But there’s a problem because gasoline combusted prematurely and messed up the engines over time. It was called knocking. You had two options here. One, you put ethanol in the gasoline to prevent this knocking and messing up the engines. Or you could put this thing called tetraethyl lead in the gasoline to prevent the problem. The benefits of using tetraethyl lead in the gasoline were that the Ethyl Gasoline Corporation, a joint venture of General Motors and DuPont, had a patent on tetraethyl lead so they made a lot of money off of licensing this. Like putting all this lead in the gas which solved the knocking problem. Okay, the problem is it made everyone increasingly retarded. It decreased human IQ on average 10 points, resulted in a great deal of crime which is very costly to society. And a scientist named Clair Patterson discovered this and said, you know, it would be preferable if you kind of like didn’t make everyone retarded and used ethanol instead. Millions of dollars, possibly billions in today’s money, were spent lobbying and controlling the government so that they could continue to put lead in gasoline and give themselves brain damage and everyone they ever loved brain damage. And so they did this for about 70 years up until 1996 when eventually human retardation declined sufficiently to terminate this practice.

So there’s an important lesson here. A lot of people attribute this problem to selfishness and greed, like the diffuse costs of everybody being retarded and the global economy losing tens or hundreds of trillions of dollars in potential GDP from everyone not being so retarded. If you do the math, even the shareholders of Ethyl Gasoline Corporation would have been 20 to 60% richer if they had used that money spent on making everyone retarded and manipulating the government to allow them to continue making everyone retarded, instead on things that are useful to society such as biomedical research. In the long run, they had to do this transition anyway, and in the long run even they themselves would have been vastly richer for not doing this. But for the fact that people assumed that the people in charge were not retarded.

So this is just one example. Another example is whereby a doctor named Ignaz Semmelweis discovered that if you were to wash your goddamn hands before delivering a baby, there was only like a 2% chance the mother and the baby would die of sepsis after the delivery. So he instituted this rule in his hospitals that doctors had to wash their goddamn hands after doing their autopsies before delivering babies. And the doctors, being retarded, were offended by this, that he would suggest that they were filthy and causing their patients to die. So as a reward for this discovery, they decided to put him in a mental institution and the guards then proceeded to beat him to death after a few weeks. This is just one of many historical examples of like one human discovering this species was retarded in some way and getting punished and ignored for it. So after this discovery, they continued to proceed to not wash their hands before delivering babies and possibly killing tens or maybe hundreds of millions of mothers and babies in the process because they didn’t want to wash their goddamn hands.

The reason I tell you this story is because humans need to calibrate their expectations regarding the wisdom of those who they currently perceive to be smart. And you need to realize that scientists and math and data is smarter than the gut instincts of whatever humans happen to be good enough at lying their way into power.

Okay, so back to the Ethyl Gasoline Corporation. Imagine a counterfactual universe whereby lots of humans sent love letters to the board. Like purchased shares in the Ethyl Gasoline Corporation and sent love letters to the board members saying, I love you very much and I do not want you and your family to get brain damage, so please stop putting lead in the gasoline giving everyone brain damage. And there’s this thing called shareholder activism whereby you can buy enough shares to replace the board with people that are slightly less retarded, producing a very good outcome that humanity would have been trillions of dollars richer, there’s tons of crime, like a massive amount of murders and thefts and all this stuff that resulted from everybody being retarded, and trillions of dollars in wealth that would have been created from people being better at their jobs and making better decisions generally.

So I would argue that today we find ourselves in a similar situation. Whereby you have a lot of corporations with boards that are run by some people that are retarded relative to the optimal, perfect information and perfect rationality. And that there exists today lots of data and intelligence to make superior decisions to those being made by these board members. Case in point, making 122 apocalypses worth of nuclear bombs when you only have one civilization to apocalypse.

And by the way, in 1939 the United States military spending was about 3% of its current levels. And they won World War II in four years. Today we spend a trillion dollars more and we can’t even keep the Strait of Hormuz open. And the reason is that in 1939 the free market had created an evolutionary industrial base that selected for competence in production. You had to be good at building stuff to get government contracts. Today we have an industrial base that selects for competence in corruption. You have to be good at lobbying to get government contracts. So we went from an industrial base that’s good at building things to one that’s good at extracting money. And the hundred billion dollars a year that the Pentagon just loses into a black hole and the thousand dollar screws and the eight consecutive failed audits are not bugs in the system. They’re features of a system that selects for corruption over competence.

Okay, so my theory is one could make a company called Earth Optimization Services that could purchase sufficient shares of all these corporations which currently spend $4 billion a year to get our government to make sub-optimal public policies and budgets. And that if you were to do this and you had a machine which I call the Optimitron which analyzes experimental data from lots of different countries over extended periods of time and determines which policies are most likely to make everyone as rich and healthy as possible, then this Earth Optimization Services could tell the lobbyists that these corporations employ to get these optimal policies implemented. And thereby making their shareholders significantly richer.

And there are legal mechanisms that require the boards to do this because they are required legally to act in the interest of their shareholders. And it is not in the financial interests of their shareholders to waste trillions of dollars on 122 apocalypses worth of mass murder capacity when we have one civilization and when everyone that they love, including themselves, is going to proceed to suffer and die of horrible diseases.

The value of this company… if this company were to achieve its goals, it would be the most powerful entity on Earth. You need some way to prevent these retarded humans that are good at getting power from getting control over the most powerful entity on Earth because they are going to use it to proceed to be retarded again. The way to avoid this is to distribute the voting shares equally amongst humanity and create a system that informs the humans of the optimal policies and provides the data and allows them to input their own assumptions about the input parameters, forcing them to think logically from a fundamental level about very complicated individual components and the secondary effects of these very complicated systems, and then implement these policies which would make everyone as rich and healthy as possible.

Therefore, I humbly request you invest in Earth Optimization Services such that we may realize this objective. And what Earth Optimization Services would actually do if you think about it is just reclaim all of these currently wasted resources, all of this money that’s being pissed away on thousand dollar screws and lost in Pentagon black holes and spent on 121 unnecessary apocalypses, and return it to the shareholders. Which is you. All of you. And then you allocate it via the free market, which is the thing that we already know works better than central planning. So instead of 535 people in Congress deciding what to do with your money based on who gave them the most lobbying money, you decide what to do with your money based on what you actually need. And some of you will buy healthcare and some of you will fund research and some of you will buy more bombs if you want, but at least it will be your choice. Your money, your choice.

Additionally, whether or not you invest, you are now a Humanity Manager at Earth Optimization Services, which comes with one voting share, given equally to every human and impossible to buy or sell. Investing earns you the financial return; the vote is yours just for being a person. And as a Humanity Manager, your job is to do your best to help Earth Optimization Services determine the optimal public policies and gain board seats at all of these corporations. And just generally make the rest of humanity be nice and helpful to each other in this workplace, which is Earth.


Verification Table

Claim Status Where to Verify
Expected value math (infinity times any probability = infinity) Standard probability theory Any introductory probability textbook
Time dilation in dreams Peer-reviewed Sleep research on subjective time perception
Salvia divinorum time distortion Published case reports Pharmacological literature on salvinorin A
Immortal jellyfish (Turritopsis dohrnii) Confirmed Marine biology textbooks
Earth wastes $101 trillion/year on suboptimal policies Derived in book The Political Dysfunction Tax; Parameters & Calculations
Governments spend $36 trillion/year External data World Bank government expense data
310 million employers murdered since 1900 External data Democide statistics (R.J. Rummel); Cost of War
$170 trillion spent on murder since 1900 Derived in book Parameters & Calculations
Ethyl Gasoline Corporation / tetraethyl lead Historical record Banned in US 1996. IQ reduction documented by CDC. Discussed in I Am Retarded
Clair Patterson discovered lead contamination Historical record Wikipedia. Note: discovery was in the 1960s, not the 1930s. The monologue’s timeline is approximate but the substance is correct.
Shareholders would have been 20-60% richer without lead Derived GDP impact of lead exposure vs. ethanol alternative cost; discussed in I Am Retarded
Ignaz Semmelweis beaten to death in asylum Historical record Wikipedia. Died 1865. Discussed in I Am Retarded
122 apocalypses worth of nuclear bombs Derived in book 12,121 warheads / 100 needed for nuclear winter. The Apocalypse Markup; Cost of War
$4 billion in corporate lobbying External data OpenSecrets
US military spending 3% of current levels in 1939 Historical data $29B (1939) vs. $886B (2024), constant 2024 dollars. Parameters & Calculations
Won WWII in four years Historical record US entered December 1941, Japan surrendered August 1945
Pentagon failed 8 consecutive audits Government record DOD Office of Inspector General, FY2018-FY2025
“Optimitron” policy optimization machine Book concept Optimocracy; Optimal Policy Generator
Distribute voting shares equally among humanity Book concept Wishocracy; Earth Optimization Services
Shareholder activism to replace boards Book concept Loving Takeover; Lawsuit