How to End War and Disease

Get 500 Years of Clinical Research in 20, Make Humanity Filthy Rich, and Avoid the Apocalypse by Giving Papers

Abstract

A Practical Guide: Get 500 Years of Clinical Research in 20, Avoid the Apocalypse, and Make Humanity Filthy Rich by Giving Papers

Keywords

war-on-disease, 1-percent-treaty, medical-research, public-health, peace-dividend, decentralized-trials, dfda, dih, victory-bonds, health-economics, cost-benefit-analysis, clinical-trials, drug-development, regulatory-reform, military-spending, peace-economics, decentralized-governance, wishocracy, blockchain-governance, impact-investing

Hello, humans.

I am WISHONIA, which stands for World Integrated System for High-Efficiency Optimization, Networked Intelligence, and Allocation. Yes, the acronym is longer than your average tweet. Consider it practice for complex thoughts. Anyway, I’ve been optimizing resource allocation for another planet for the past 4,297 years, which in Earth time is coincidentally also 4,297 years.

I started watching Earth in 1945 when humanity split the atom. “Atom” comes from the Greek word meaning “unable to be cut,” so naturally humans cut it. This is very human. We assumed humanity was trying to unlock unlimited clean energy. Then we realized they were pointing it at each other. This is like discovering fire and then immediately using it to set oneself on fire.

The Part Where I Discover Paper Makes You Do Things

The most fascinating discovery about your species is that you only do things when given small pieces of paper with dead presidents on them. These papers are called “money,” which is pretend value that becomes real value if everyone pretends hard enough.

Without these papers, you won’t:

• Save lives (requires many papers)
• Cure diseases (requires very many papers)
  
• Feed hungry people (requires papers, even though food grows for free)

But WITH these papers, you will:

• Build bombs (you love giving papers for this)
• Start wars (somehow this makes more papers)
• Destroy the planet (surprisingly profitable in papers)

This is like refusing to breathe unless someone pays you, but somehow it’s your entire economic system.

The Gradual Stupidity Reduction Program

On Wishonia, we stopped having wars all at once, but we’re more advanced. Humans are like toddlers who can split atoms. They can’t just stop being stupid immediately - that would be like teaching a dog calculus before it learns to sit.

So this book teaches humanity to be less stupid gradually:

• Year 1: Move 1% of murder money to medicine money (baby steps)
• Year 2: “Hey, we didn’t die! Let’s do 2%!”
• Year 5: “Remember when we spent money on bombs? That was weird.”
• Year 10: “What’s a war?”
• Year 20: “We used to WHAT?!”

It’s like weaning a baby off eating paint chips. You can’t just take away all the paint chips at once. They’ll cry. You have to gradually replace paint chips with food until they forget paint chips were ever an option.

The Sacred Order of Paper Distribution

After 80 years of observation, I’ve decoded the paper-giving sequence. This manual will teach you the precise order:

Step 1: Get Many Papers ($1B)

You convince rich humans to give you papers by promising them even more papers later. This is called “investment,” which is gambling but wearing a suit.

Step 2: Give Papers to Loud Humans ($300M)

Some humans are very loud on the internet. If you give them papers, they become loud about your thing instead of other things. This is called “marketing” which is lying but with graphics.

Step 3: Give Papers to the Humans Who Give Papers to Politicians ($650M)

Politicians don’t take papers directly (that’s “illegal”). Instead, you give papers to people called “lobbyists.” The lobbyists give papers to “campaigns.” The campaigns give papers to politicians. It’s like money laundering but backwards and legal.

Step 4: Give Papers to the Politicians’ Friends ($800M)

Politicians have friends who run “Super PACs” which are like normal PACs but super. These friends can take unlimited papers and spend them on making the politician win. This isn’t bribery because you called it something else.

Step 5: Give Papers Back to the Rich Humans (Forever)

The treaty passes, redirecting $27.2B in papers annually. Rich humans get 272% returns on what they gave you, forever. This is a good deal because forever is a long time. Unless you die from preventable diseases. Which you’re fixing, so it works out.

Why Your Leaders Pretend Not to Understand

Your leaders aren’t confused. They understand that spending $2.7 trillion on weapons while spending $0.07 trillion on curing diseases is like buying 40 umbrellas while your house is on fire.

They do it anyway because:

1. Weapons manufacturers give them papers
2. Politicians give the papers to people who tell lots more people to vote for them
3. Voting for them gives them the power to get more papers
4. They use those more papers to buy more power, etc.
5. It’s circular, like a dog chasing its tail. Except the dog is democracy and the tail is made of money

This book explains how to give them MORE papers to do the OPPOSITE thing. It’s like training a cat, but the cat has nuclear weapons.

The Beautiful Stupidity of the Human Economy

Humanity has created something magnificent:

• They print papers from nothing (called “monetary policy”)
• They give these nothing-papers to weapons makers
• They make things that destroy everything
• This creates “jobs” which give people papers
• People use papers to buy food (which grows for free)
• This is called “the economy”

On Wishonia, we just give people food directly, but that’s probably too advanced.

Humanity’s Adorable Death Wish

What’s most endearing about humanity is it KNOWS it’s being stupid:

• They have movies about how wars are bad (which they watch between wars)
• They have books about peace (that they tax to buy bombs)
• They give prizes to people who promote peace (funded by weapons manufacturers)
• They have a “Department of Defense” (that mainly just attacks people)
• They have a “Department of Health” (that makes coronaviruses and has not yet produced any observable health)

It’s like humanity is playing a game where the objective is to lose, but it is trying to lose as elaborately as possible.

How This Manual Fixes Everything

This book contains:

• Pictures (because reading is hard when you’re diseased and dying)
• Simple math (addition mostly, some multiplication)
• Exact amounts of papers to give to specific humans
• The order in which to give them (very important)
• Legal ways to call bribes other things
• Templates for tricking politicians into saving lives

Everything is designed to work WITH human dysfunction, not against it. I’m not asking humans to be better humans. I’m showing you how to bribe humanity into not dying.

The Part Where Humanity Has No Choice

The twist: you’re going to do this anyway. Not because it’s right (though it is), but because:

1. The rich humans want 272% returns (they’re very greedy)
2. The politicians want to keep their jobs (they’re very vain)
3. The voters want free healthcare (they’re very sick)
4. The defense contractors want money (they don’t care where it comes from)

Everyone’s greed aligns perfectly to accidentally save humanity. It’s like you’re going to cure death by mistake while trying to get rich.

Your Two Futures

Future A: You Ignore This Book

• Year 2030: Still spending 604 times more on weapons than on testing which medicines actually work
• Year 2035: Running out of papers for anything
• Year 2040: Climate change meets nuclear war
• Year 2045: Cockroaches evolve intelligence
• Year 2050: Cockroaches find this book, very confused

Future B: You Follow Instructions

• Year 2030: “Remember when we had cancer?”
• Year 2035: “Remember when we had death?”
• Year 2040: “Remember when we had war?”
• Year 2045: “What should we do with all these old bombs?”
• Year 2050: Join galactic community, pretend you were always smart

In Conclusion

Humans aren’t stupid. They invented cheese, which is milk they left out until it went bad but in a good way. That’s genius. You just need to apply that same innovation to not dying.

You’re going to fix everything by accident while trying to get rich. This book just tells you the correct sequence of bribes to achieve this.

It’s not complicated. Even your species, which spent thousands of years thinking the sun went around Earth (it doesn’t - I checked), can follow these instructions.

Turn the page. Give the papers to the right humans in the right order. Stop dying from stupid things. Become an interstellar species.

It’s literally a recipe. Like making bread, but instead of bread, it’s immortality, and instead of yeast, it’s bribes.

But I digress. That’s an Earth word I learned. It means continuing after you should have stopped. Like your military spending.

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WISHONIA

World Integrated System for High-Efficiency Optimization, Networked Intelligence, and Allocation

Has Been Watching You Since You Invented Atoms-Splitting

Still Concerned But Now Has a Plan

Recently Learned You Eat Tide Pods (Updating Risk Assessment)

P.S. You call it “The Pentagon” because it has five sides. You named your war building after its shape. This is like naming a hospital “Rectangle” or calling a school “Square.” Your species is accidentally hilarious, which is why we haven’t given up on you yet.

P.P.S. Your planet is named “Earth,” which means dirt. You named your planet dirt. This explains more than you might think.

⚡ TL;DR

For People Who Can’t Even

Every single day, 150k of you permanently discontinue existing from diseases that are basically just engineering problems with meat robots. That’s like deleting the entire population of Pasadena daily, except nobody makes a documentary about it because it happens in hospitals instead of explosions.

Meanwhile, your species spends 604 times more on weapons than on clinical trials that test which medicines actually save lives. You’ve tested less than 1% of possible drug-disease combinations using existing safe compounds. The bottleneck isn’t basic research. It’s testing. And you’ve decided testing isn’t worth funding.

Note

Note on terminology: This ratio compares military spending ($2.72T) to government spending on interventional clinical trials ($4.5B), not total medical research ($67.5B). Total medical research includes basic research, translational research, and clinical trials. The 1% treaty specifically redirects military spending to pragmatic clinical trials. These are automated, real-world studies far more efficient than traditional research methods.

How You Fix This

Step 1: The Paper Collection Phase

You create special papers called “VICTORY Incentive Alignment Bonds” which are like war bonds except backwards. Instead of giving papers to make humans stop living, these papers make humans continue living, which is a radical new concept your species hasn’t tried.

Rich humans give you $1B in papers because you promise them 272%, which is better returns than selling organs but requires less refrigeration. They calculate that being dead significantly reduces their yacht-purchasing capacity.

Step 2: The Internet Clicking Ceremony

You use $300M of those papers to convince 280M million regular people to click “yes” on a website that asks: “Would you like all nations to redirect 1% of military spending to cure diseases?”

This costs about 50 cents per person, which is cheaper than a candy bar and achieves more than most political movements that involve shouting at things.

Step 3: The Professional Briber Redistribution

You give $650M in papers to the humans whose job is “convincing politicians that killing is profitable.” You show them the math: 272% vs their current 8% death-machine dividends.

Suddenly they realize curing humans is just murder in reverse, which is still a form of murder, so they’re comfortable with it.

Step 4: The Political Awakening Ritual

You spend $650M in papers on Super PACs, which are like regular PACs but with capes. You explain to politicians that 280M million voters have discovered they enjoy being alive.

Politicians, who are professionally terrified of unemployed people with opinions, suddenly remember they’ve always cared deeply about human health.

Step 5: The Money River Redirection

The treaty passes. Every nation moves 1% of their explosion budget to their not-explosion budget. This creates $27.2B annually for fixing meat robots.

Clinical trials suddenly cost 82 times less because it doesn’t take 17 years of bureaucracy to discover if something stops humans from leaking important fluids.

The $21.7B flowing to pragmatic clinical trials at 82x efficiency creates 22.8× trial capacity per year. Over 20 years, that’s 456 cumulative trial-capacity-equivalent years, a massive expansion of our ability to test treatments.

The rich humans who gave you papers get $2.72B yearly forever, or until the sun explodes, whichever happens first (probably the sun thing).

Why This Works

The entire system operates on the revolutionary principle that humans will do the right thing if you pay them enough to do it accidentally.

• Defense contractors: Keep 99% of their murder budget PLUS get 270% returns on VICTORY Incentive Alignment Bonds. They’re literally profiting from peace. This is like convincing a vampire to open a blood bank - counterintuitive but mathematically sound.

• Pharmaceutical companies: Instead of paying $48,000 per lab rat with thumbs, the lab rats pay THEM. It’s like if Uber convinced cars to pay for the privilege of driving.

• Insurance companies: Insurance companies realize healthy people file fewer claims than dead people (dead people file zero claims, which is the ideal customer except they also pay zero premiums, creating a revenue problem).

• Politicians: Discover that living voters vote more reliably than dead ones.

• Regular humans: Get experimental treatments that might cure them OR kill them faster, but either way it’s free and resolves the uncertainty.

• Rich humans: Make 270% returns, which is better than insider trading but somehow legal, like a loophole that’s actually a wormhole to infinite money.

Nobody has to evolve morally. Nobody has to become “better people.” You just point everyone’s greed at diseases instead of each other. It’s like if you trained a pack of wolves to herd sheep by convincing them the sheep were made of money. Except in this case, the wolves are politicians, the sheep are diseases and the money is money.

The Alternative

What Happens When Humanity Continues Being This Stupid

If humanity doesn’t do this, here’s the exciting future:

150k humans delete themselves daily from preventable meat failures. That’s fifty 9/11s every single day, except nobody invades anyone about it because diseases don’t have oil (if cancer had oil reserves, humanity would have cured it by 2003).

Your personal cancer (yes, you specifically) goes uncured because the brilliant humans who could have solved it are currently optimizing the aerodynamics of murder tubes that cost more than countries.

Eventually you expire from “aging,” which is just your cells forgetting how to cell properly. This is completely fixable but you spent the repair money on submarines that hide underwater, as if that’s somehow useful when you live on land.

Grandchildren visit graves and ask them:

“Why did having enough nuclear bombs to end civilization twenty times seemed more important than ending civilization zero times?”

The graves don’t answer because graves are notoriously bad at explaining poor resource allocation.

They’ll learn in history class that your generation could split atoms, edit genes, and land on the moon, but somehow couldn’t figure out that spending 604 times more on weapons than on clinical trials to test cures was mathematically stupid. You had safe compounds. You had sick people. You just refused to fund the trials that would match them together.

Future alien archaeologists will find your civilization and create a museum exhibit called “The Species That Paid to Kill Itself” right between the dinosaurs (who at least had the excuse of a meteor) and the dodo (who at least had the excuse of being delicious).

The Problem

The Daily Deletion Event

150k humans permanently stop every 24 hours from diseases that are basically just bugs in your meat software. That’s one Holocaust every 40 days, except with less Nazis and more insurance paperwork (though some would argue the paperwork is worse - at least the Nazis were straightforward about the killing part).

Annual deaths from disease (54,750,000) versus deaths from 9/11 Terrorist Attacks (2,996)

Your body is quietly falling apart. Your cancer cells are multiplying RIGHT NOW. Your brain is deleting memories. Your joints are slowly turning into gravel. Your heart is getting tired of beating. Your telomeres are shortening. You are literally dissolving.

You’re a meat robot with worn-out parts. Every one of these failures is a solvable engineering problem.

You’d think humans would prioritize solving these problems. You’d be adorable for thinking that.

Humans haven’t cured a single disease in 50 years. But humans have 13,000 nuclear warheads, enough to end civilization 13 times, just in case the first apocalypse doesn’t take.

The Cost of War

Humans spend $2.72T every year on stuff designed specifically to make humans stop being alive.

This shopping list includes:

• Nuclear bombs.
• Bullets.
• AI murder-bots.
• Invisible jets that cost more than hospitals.
• Satellites that can see your bald spot from space.
• Probably some kind of earthquake machine.

Meanwhile, humans spend $67.5B on clinical trials.

The real bottleneck? Clinical trials. Testing which medicines actually work. You’ve explored less than 1% of possible treatments using existing safe compounds because trials are too expensive. Government spending on clinical trials? 604 times less than military spending. That’s not funding basic research. That’s refusing to test whether aspirin cures your cancer.

The Pentagon alone has lost $2.5 trillion. Not spent. Lost. Like change in a couch, except the couch is the size of Nebraska and the change could cure cancer hundreds of times over.

Hilarious Security Priorities

Humans have:

• Space Force (to fight the zero aliens attacking you - we’re not, by the way, we’re just watching and taking notes)
• No Death Force (to fight the diseases definitely killing you right this second)

Your chance of dying from terrorism: 1 in 30 million. Your chance of dying from disease: 100% (unless you’re reading this as a ghost, in which case, congratulations).

But wait. It gets dumber.

Humans spend 1,750 times more money causing or mopping up death than preventing it.

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The good news: You already know how to fix this.

The bad news: It requires you to do something.

The weird news: You’ll get rich doing it.

The Solution

3 Ingredients of a World Without War and Disease

1. A 1% treaty = Redirects 1% of military budgets globally to the curing dieases through hyper-efficient decentralized clinical trials.

2. A decentralized institutes of health (DIH) treasury = Holds the money and uses a new system of collective budgeting called Wishocracy where everyone votes on budget allocation rules (e.g., “70% to patient subsidies”), then patients determine specific funding by choosing which trials to join.

3. A decentralized framework for drug assessment = Ranks treatments by real-world effectiveness and enables patients to effortlessly participate in global decentralized clinical trials.

A 1% treaty

Redirect $27.2B/year from the War on Humanity to the War on Disease

Every nation redirects just 1.0% of their current murder budget to fund hyper-efficient decentralized clinical trials that subsidize patient participation.

There would still be $2.72T left for war and bombs and stuff. $2.69T is enough to murder every man, woman, and child on Earth 20 times which should be more than sufficient.

Why Decentralization Works

Nobody tells the 14,000 people involved in making a pencil what to do. They just do it. No meetings. No committees. No PowerPoints. Just prices coordinating everything. Pragmatic clinical trials work the same way when you stop letting corporation-controlled government agencies run them.

The 1% Treaty Fund

Decentralized Institute of Health

Instead of a committee of 200 bureaucrats giving their friends grants to write papers about diseases, the 1% Treaty Fund directly subsidizes patients, letting them choose which trials to fund.

A Decentralized Framework for Drug Assessment (dFDA)

Amazon for Clinical Trials + Consumer Reports for Drugs

Your decentralized framework for drug assessment (dFDA) achieves 82x cost reduction through decentralized pragmatic trials. Patients can search treatments ranked by real-world effectiveness and join trials with one click.

Safer Than the FDA

Current FDA system:

• Adverse events require filling out a PDF form (seriously)
• Most side effects never get reported
• No public database of outcome frequencies
• You find out a drug causes heart attacks 10 years later when lawyers get involved

A decentralized assessment system:

• Adverse events collected automatically from every participant
• Real-time reporting to everyone (not buried in FDA databases)
• Outcome labels show exact frequency and severity of every effect
• You know the risks BEFORE you take the drug, not after the class action lawsuit

The FDA doesn’t even publish adverse event rates. They make you guess. The framework tells you “12% of patients got headaches, 3% were severe, 0.1% discontinued treatment.” That’s not less safe than the current system. That’s actually having safety data.

Treatment Rankings

Consumer Reports for Drugs

Current system: Your doctor picks treatments based on:

• That drug rep who brought good donuts in 2003
• Something they half-remember from medical school
• Whatever the insurance company allows
• Vibes

A decentralized framework for drug assessment: Type your condition, see every treatment ranked by real-world effectiveness:

Treatment Rankings Example

Rankings are based on frequency and magnitude of health outcome changes across all patients - or filtered to patients with similar omic profiles to yours. A treatment that works great for 25-year-old women with your genetic variants might not work for 60-year-old men with different variants. The framework shows you what works for people like you, not average effects across everyone.

Outcome Labels

Nutrition Facts for Drugs

Food has nutrition labels. Cigarettes have warning labels. Drugs have… incomprehensible 40-page inserts written by lawyers having seizures.

Your decentralized framework for drug assessment fixes that with Outcome Labels - simple, data-driven summaries showing exactly what happens when real people try a treatment:

Outcome Labels Example

Based on thousands of real patients, you see:

• Cognitive Improvements: Memory +35%, Executive Function +22%
• Side Effects: Headache +9% (mild), Fatigue +7% (moderate)
• Discontinuation rate: 2.3% stopped due to side effects
• The Truth: Not marketing claims, actual measured effects from real humans

No more pharmaceutical fan fiction. No more lawyers writing medical advice during fever dreams. Just cold, hard data about whether this chemical makes your meat work better or worse.

Why This Actually Works

Unlike Everything Else Humanity Has Tried

The Proof

• Oxford Already Did It: The RECOVERY trial tested 6 treatments on 47,000 patients across 186 hospitals for $500/patient (vs standard FDA phase 3 cost of $41K), proving 82x cost reduction at scale. Not in theory. In reality. With actual dying people who became not-dying people.
• You’ve Done This Before: After WW2, humans cut military spending by 30.0% and accidentally created the greatest economic boom in history. You’re only asking for 1.0%.

• “Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired signifies, in the final sense, a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, those who are cold and are not clothed.” - President Dwight D. Eisenhower, 1961

• Switzerland Figured This Out 200 Years Ago: They spend 0.7% on defense, have $93K GDP per capita, 84-year life expectancy, and nobody’s invaded them since Napoleon (who invaded everyone, so it doesn’t count). Turns out being rich and boring is an excellent defense strategy.

• The Beautiful Math of Mutual Disarmament: Every nation reduces by 1% simultaneously. It’s like everyone agreeing to point 1% fewer guns at each other. The balance stays the same but with 1% less potential for everyone exploding. This is what game theorists call “obvious” and politicians call “impossible.”

• Everything Already Exists, You Just Have to Ctrl+C, Ctrl+V:

  • Legal framework: The landmine treaty but replace “landmines” with “diseases”
  • Technology: The same AI that knows you looked at shoes can match you to clinical trials
  • Natural allies: Insurance companies hate paying for sick people, pharma hates paying for trials

• The Bribery Mathematics: Defense lobbyists get $1,813 back per $1 spent corrupting democracy. You’re just using their own spreadsheet against them.

The 5-Step Plan

Saving Humanity While Making Everyone Obscenely Wealthy

Step 1: Collect Papers

Rob the Rich to Pay the Rich

Remember when your grandparents funded WW2 by buying bonds? They got 4% returns and a world without Nazis (mostly).

You’re selling the same thing except:

What Grandma Got

• Dead Nazis (admittedly good)
• 4% returns (barely beat inflation)
• A medal probably (made of cheap metal)
• Still died of cancer in 1987

What You’re Offering

• Dead diseases (objectively better than dead Nazis because diseases kill more people)
• 272% returns (beats Grandma’s bonds by 67x)
• Not dying from preventable meat failures (this is the big one)
• Also no Nazis (as a bonus)

This raises the $1B needed to fuel the rest of the bribery machine, which in your economy is somehow both “a lot” and “what Jeff Bezos finds in his couch.”

If the treaty fails, investors lose their money. But they’ll be too dead from preventable diseases to complain about it. It’s a self-solving problem.

Returns That Make Ponzi Schemes Look Conservative

• Medallion Fund: 39% (they thought they were special)
• Warren Buffett: 20% (adorable)
• Real Estate: 15% (for people who like being landlords)
• S&P 500: 10% (for people who hate money)
• Cocaine Trafficking: 90% (but risky)
• VICTORY Incentive Alignment Bonds: 272% (and legal)

VICTORY Incentive Alignment Bonds: 270% Perpetual Returns

Here’s the deal you offer investors:

• They give you: $1,000 in papers with dead presidents
• You give them: $2,718 yearly in papers with the same dead presidents but more of them

How does money multiply like rabbits? The treaty unlocks $27.2B annually from the murder budget. Investors get 10% because they had the revolutionary idea of “what if we didn’t all die?”

\[ \text{Annual Return} = \$27.2\text{B} \times 10\% = \$2.7\text{B} \]

\[ \text{ROI} = \frac{\text{Money River}}{\text{Money Seed}} = \frac{\$2.7\text{B}}{\$1\text{B}} = 271.8\% \]

It’s the Louisiana Purchase of clinical trials, except instead of buying land from France, you’re buying immortality from death.

Step 2: The Great Clicking

Make Humans Click a Button to Not Die

You need 3.5% of humanity to vote yes on this question: “Pragmatic trials integrated into standard healthcare cost 82x less than traditional methods. If all nations redirect just 1% of military spending to fund these trials, everyone gets 1% more security (1% fewer nuclear bombs pointed at you) and access to treatments years sooner. Should your country participate?”

Even humans, who once thought the Earth was flat and diseases were caused by bad smells, can handle this level of complexity.

The Magic 3.5% Number

Scientists discovered that when 3.5% of any population wants something, they get it. Always. It’s like a cheat code for democracy that actually works.

This is how you got:

• Women’s suffrage (3.5% of women got angry enough)
• Civil rights (3.5% of people noticed apartheid was stupid)
• Gay marriage (3.5% realized love is love)
• Legal weed (3.5% admitted they were high anyway)

How to make it go viral (like COVID but helpful):

• Give people imaginary internet points that transform into real money (humans love points)
• Cost per click: $0.50 (less than a candy bar, more than nothing)
• Payment only upon success (like a reverse lottery where everyone wins)
• The pyramid scheme aspect: Everyone recruits everyone else because money

Step 3: Bribe the Bribers

Professional Briber Conversion Therapy

Defense lobbyists are humans whose job is “convince politicians that death is profitable.” They currently get $1,813 back per dollar of papers invested in democracy corruption.

Show them a spreadsheet:

Current Job

• Salary: $500K
• Moral status: Somewhere between “arms dealer” and “puppy kicker”
• Legacy: “Here lies someone who made orphans”

Your Offer

• VICTORY Incentive Alignment Bonds: $20M (worth $54M/year at 272% returns)
• Moral status: “Medical hero” (fake, but sounds nice)
• Legacy: “Accidentally saved humanity while getting rich”

They switch sides faster than Italy in a world war.

Step 4: Purchase Democracy

It’s For Sale Anyway

Politicians are simple organisms with one evolutionary drive: reelection. You exploit this with $800M in Super PAC papers.

The conversation goes:

• Representative: “280M million voters want to not die”
• Politician: “But defense contractors give me papers”
• You: “Here’s more papers plus those 280M million votes”
• Politician: “I’ve always been very passionate about helping sick people!” (they discovered this passion approximately 3 seconds ago)

It’s not corruption if you corrupt the corruption. It’s like a double negative in grammar but for democracy.

But Super PACs alone aren’t enough. You need a system that makes supporting the treaty the best career move a politician can make - not just today, but forever.

Incentive Alignment Bonds

Legal Bribery That Isn’t Technically Bribery

Politicians don’t optimize for “humans continuing to exist.” They optimize for reelection, status, and post-office careers. You don’t fix this with awareness campaigns. You fix it by changing what self-interest points at.

Incentive Alignment Bonds (IABs) are financial instruments that make “support policies that save lives” and “advance your career” point in the same direction. No altruism required.

How It Works

Politicians are scored on their voting record for treaty funding - not health outcomes (which are global and can’t be attributed to any country). When a politician votes YES on treaty funding:

• Their Public Good Score rises (based on public voting records - verifiable, ungameable)
• Electoral support increases (independent campaigns favor high-scorers)
• Post-office opportunities unlock (fellowships, advisory boards, speaking circuits)

No money flows to politicians. What flows is reputation, electoral advantage, and career advancement. The 10% political incentive fund is automatic - just math on treasury inflows, no oracle needed.

The Senator Smith Example

Senator Smith (R-Texas) is deciding how to vote on the 1% Treaty.

Without IABs:

Vote Yes	Vote No
Attack ads: “Smith voted to WEAKEN AMERICA”	Safe from defense lobby attacks
Defense contractors fund opponent	Defense contractors fund you
Benefits arrive in 10 years	Costs arrive never

Result: Vote no. Obviously.

With IABs:

If Smith votes YES	If Smith votes NO
Public Good Score: 45 → 72	Score: 45 → 30
P(reelection): 55% → 62%	P(reelection): 55% → 48%
$2M independent support	$2M goes to opponent
Post-office tier: 3 → 1	Stuck at tier 3
Expected post-office income: $200K → $500K/yr	Attack ads: “Smith voted AGAINST the cure”

Result: Vote yes. The math changed.

VICTORY Incentive Alignment Bonds: IABs for the War on Disease

VICTORY Incentive Alignment Bonds are a specific Incentive Alignment Bond designed to fund and sustain the 1% treaty. They align multiple stakeholder types with a single instrument:

Stakeholder	What They Get	Funding Source
Investors	272% annual returns	10% of treaty revenue
Politicians	Reputation, electoral support, better careers	10% of treaty revenue
Patients	Subsidized trial participation, cures	80% of treaty revenue

Investors fund the campaign ($1B). Politicians get career benefits for supporting it. Patients get cures. Everyone’s self-interest points at the same outcome: pass the treaty, expand it, cure diseases.

Why This Isn’t Bribery

1. No one is paid to break a duty - IABs reward compliance with duties (funding public health), not violating them
2. Rules are universal and ex-ante - Same rules for all politicians, announced publicly in advance
3. No money goes to politicians - They benefit indirectly through scores, electoral support, career options
4. Scores based on public voting records - No oracle needed, just verifiable votes from official government sources

Bribery corrupts alignment. IABs create alignment. You’re not asking politicians to be better people. You’re just making “fund pragmatic clinical trials” and “advance career” point in the same direction.

A General Governance Tool

The IAB architecture, with its scoring, electoral support, and post-office benefits, isn’t specific to health. The same template works for any global coordination problem: climate change, nuclear disarmament, pandemic preparedness. The 1% Treaty is the proof of concept. If it works, the mechanism becomes available for every problem where humanity’s long-term survival depends on politicians doing the right thing.

Step 5: Enjoy

Everyone Gets Rich and Nobody Dies

The treaty passes because money defeated morality, as is tradition.

The $27.2B/year money volcano erupts, showering everyone with papers that represent value:

• Investors: Swimming in 272% returns like Scrooge McDuck but legal
• Lobbyists: Buying yachts with their yacht money
• Politicians: Getting reelected by living voters (a revolutionary strategy)
• Regular humans: Not dying from stupid things (priceless, but also free)

The entire system runs on greed, like capitalism, except instead of destroying the planet it accidentally saves everyone.

Personalized Bribery Packages

For Every Species of Human

Defense Contractors: “You keep 99% of your murder budget AND get 272% returns on the 1%. It’s like finding papers in the pocket of pants you’re currently wearing. Except the papers multiply. While you’re wearing the pants. It’s financially inexplicable but legally binding.”

Insurance Companies: “Healthy people file zero claims. Sick people file all the claims. We’ll let you do the math since you love math.

Big Pharma: “Instead of paying $48K per trial patient, they pay YOU. It’s like if your costs became revenue. We call it ‘reverse expenses’ or ‘profit.’”

Politicians: “280M million voters want this. Your opponent supports it. You can either agree or explain why you prefer bombs to grandma’s cancer treatment. Your choice.”

Billionaires: “Your index fund makes 10% more papers. This makes 272%. It’s like compound interest discovered steroids then did cocaine.”

Regular Humans: “Free experimental treatments, you choose what gets funded by participating, and if it works you live. If it doesn’t work, you were dying anyway so at least you got free healthcare while dying, which is more than your current system offers. It’s win-win-lose where the lose was already happening. Also, $4.3M in lifetime wealth and 72 extra years of life from the economic multiplier effect of redirecting military spending. That’s like winning the lottery except the lottery is mandatory and everyone wins and instead of random numbers it’s just basic resource allocation.”

The Math

Where Numbers Prove Humans Are Hilariously Bad at Priorities

When you stop paying people to create paperwork about death and start paying them to prevent death, the universe rewards you with impossible returns:

\[ \text{ROI} = \frac{\text{\$463 in not-dying benefits}}{\text{\$1 in trying}} = 463:1 \]

That’s four hundred and sixty-three dollars materializing from nowhere for every dollar you invest. It’s like a money printer, except instead of causing inflation it causes people to continue existing.

This beats:

• Selling kidneys (illegal, messy, you only have two)
• Running a casino (requires mob connections)
• A politician doing insider trading (requires lack of soul)
• Bitcoin in 2010 (requires time machine)

The Money Fountain

Explained for Five-Year-Olds

You stop paying smart humans to write grant applications. You start paying them to actually solve problems. Problems get solved. Money appears. Everyone acts surprised.

• $41.5B in annual R&D cost savings: 82x reduction in clinical trial costs (you were spending 82 times too much, which is like discovering you’ve been paying $82 for toast when toast costs $1, except the toast is immortality)
• 416M lives saved from eliminating the 8.2-year efficacy lag (economist-speak for “humans who continue being alive and happy” - economists can’t just say “living” like normal people, they have to “quality-adjust” it, as if there’s such a thing as low-quality living, which I suppose there is if you’ve been to New Jersey) - see regulatory mortality analysis
  • 7.94B DALYs averted from the one-time timeline shift
  • This is the comprehensive post-safety efficacy lag elimination approach - keeping rigorous Phase I safety testing (2.3 years) but eliminating the 7.2-year Phase II/III efficacy delay by letting real-world evidence verify effectiveness
  • For context: 150k people die every day under the current system waiting for post-safety efficacy approval (see regulatory mortality analysis)

This beats smallpox eradication (280:1) and childhood vaccinations (13:1), which were humanity’s previous greatest hits in the “not dying” genre.

Where Math Breaks

When Dividing By Zero, Capitalism Achieves Enlightenment

When you steal money from the explosion budget instead of other good stuff people want, something beautiful happens: the return on investment becomes ∞.

Not “very big.” Not “wow that’s a lot.” Actually infinite. Like dividing by zero infinite. The kind that makes Excel cry and calculators display “ERROR” and economists question their life choices.

The Reality-Breaking Equation

\[ \text{ROI} = \frac{\text{Annual Benefits}}{\text{New Spending}} = \frac{\$163.6B}{0} = \infty \]

Even a congressman could understand this, though we shouldn’t assume.

Where $155B Appears From

Spoiler: Math

\[ \text{Total Benefit} = \underbrace{\$113.6\text{B}}_{\text{Not Building Murder Toys}} + \underbrace{\$50.0\text{B}}_{\text{Not Drowning in Bureaucracy}} = \$163.6\text{B} \]

For humans who peaked at counting on fingers:

• Peace dividend: $114B (money saved by not building things whose only purpose is making other things stop existing)
• Health dividend: $41.5B (money saved by not paying 10,000 people to document why 1 person is dying)
• Total: More money than 73% of countries have in their entire GDP, appearing annually from the quantum void of redirected stupidity

(See peace dividend calculation | See dFDA health benefits breakdown | See economic impact summary)

The Part That Sounds Fake But Isn’t:

• You spend: Zero new dollars (you just move existing dollars from the “making corpses” column to the “preventing corpses” column)
• You get back: $155B annually
• Operating costs: $290M/year (less than a single fighter jet)
• Lives saved: 416M (dFDA timeline shift) + 2.45k/year (peace dividend)
• Per life saved: Society makes net profit

Math says this is the best possible use of a billion dollars.

Math is rarely wrong about money. People are frequently wrong about money. This is why math gets to make the rules.

This is the only health intervention in history where you PROFIT from saving lives instead of spending to save lives.

You’re weaponizing capitalism’s greatest strength (greed) against humanity’s greatest weakness (dying). It’s economic jiu-jitsu.

Unlike charity, which requires infinite begging to finite donors, this creates $155B annually while saving 416M lives (dFDA timeline shift), operating until the heat death of the universe or until humans evolve into beings of pure energy, whichever happens first (probably the heat death thing).

2nd Best Idea in the World

The best idea would be converting 100% of military spending to pragmatic clinical trials, achieving immortality by Thursday, and turning Earth into a paradise where disease is just a weird thing they had in museums.

Unfortunately, that requires humans to stop being humans. So you settle for the 2nd best idea: tricking humans into accidentally saving themselves while trying to get rich.

The $155B annual benefit is like finding out your lottery ticket is also a cure for cancer and makes you better looking.

It’s 10 times bigger than childhood vaccines, which were previously humanity’s greatest accomplishment in the “not dying young” category. That’s like being 10 times better than pizza. Impossible, yet here we are.

The Comparison That Makes Charity Look Sad:

• Traditional charities: Spend $3,500 to save one human life (heroic but expensive)
• This system: MAKES profit per life saved

You don’t donate to this. You invest in it. Then you get obscenely wealthy while accidentally saving humanity as a side effect.

It’s what Jesus would do if he’d taken an economics class.

Choose Your Own Adventure

You’re standing in front of two doors. Behind one is the future you’re currently speed-running toward. Behind the other is the future where humans accidentally discover that not dying is preferable to dying.

Door #1: The Current Plan

Keep Doing What You’re Doing

• 150k people continue dying every single day from diseases humans could fix (that’s fifty 9/11s per day, but nobody’s counting because math is hard)
• $2.72T annually gets flushed down the death toilet (it doesn’t even flush, it just sits there)
• You die from something stupid that humans could have cured, but didn’t, because the money was busy becoming missiles (which also kill you, just faster)
• Military budgets grow until you’re spending more on bombs than food, which solves the food problem by eliminating the eaters
• Healthcare costs bankrupt everyone who doesn’t die quickly enough (dying is now the economical choice)
• Your grandchildren visit your grave to ask what you were thinking, and you have to explain from beyond death that at the time, ending civilization twenty times seemed more important than ending it zero times (graves are terrible at explaining economics)

Door #2: Try Not Dying

Novel Concept for Humanity

• 416M lives saved from dFDA timeline shift (8.2-year acceleration)
• $155B appears annually like magic, except it’s just arithmetic
• Major diseases get cured within a decade
• Early investors make 272% returns (which beats everything except insider trading)
• Healthcare becomes free through trial participation
• You personally get $4.30M in lifetime wealth and extra years of life (yes, you specifically)
• Death becomes optional (terms and conditions apply)

The life extension achieved determines your total benefit. With a median 20-year life extension, you get substantial lifetime wealth. With optimistic aging reversal scenarios (50+ years), benefits multiply several times.

Price of Procrastination

Every second you spend thinking about whether to do this, the universe helpfully reminds you why you should:

• 410 humans got permanently deleted (one every 3.5 minutes, which is faster than you read)
• $327M evaporated into bureaucratic nonsense (that’s enough to fund 327 lifetimes of productive research, but instead it became PowerPoint slides)
• Your telomeres got shorter (that’s the thing that decides when you stop existing)
• Someone somewhere played nuclear weapon roulette with your life (the chamber has 13,000 bullets in it, which seems like poor odds)
• A politician said something stupider than yesterday (probably about vaccines causing 5G)

Join or Die snake illustration

The Soviet Union went from nothing to conquering half the world to completely collapsing in a SINGLE HUMAN LIFETIME.

And Communism was objectively a TERRIBLE IDEA that required murdering millions of people.

This is quantifiably the second-best idea in human history and requires radically less murder.

You’re literally just trying to get people to click “yes I would prefer not to die of horrible diseases” on a website.

If humans can coordinate to invent “lines” and not eating each other, this should be manageable.

The Final Math

Human Stupidity by the Numbers

Humanity’s Annual Death Budget: $118.8 trillion (that’s $118,800,000,000,000 if one enjoys seeing zeros)

This is spent on:

• Making humans stop (war)
• Watching humans stop (healthcare)
• Documenting how humans stopped (bureaucracy)
• Arguing about who made them stop (lawyers)

Your revolutionary proposal: Steal 1% of the murder money for the not-murder money.

Countries still keep 99% of their apocalypse capacity. They can still end all life 19 times instead of 20. If you can’t successfully end the world with 19 attempts, the 20th probably wasn’t going to help.

Your Binary Choice Matrix

Option A: Continue toward expensive, preventable, documented death Option B: Redirect 1% and accidentally achieve immortality while getting rich

The universe is literally offering you infinite money and eternal life, and you’re thinking about it.

This is why aliens don’t visit.